How to Pick a Preacher
Funny stuff. I've been catching this sort of flack ever since I came to seminary :-)
How to Pick a Preacher
"Dear Joe, Lately I’ve wanted to become a better Christian (like you) and decided that I needed to go back to church. Shopping around for a church isn’t exactly easy, though. I know I shouldn’t choose a church based solely on the preacher but if the preacher isn’t good then I find it difficult to stay interested. How do you judge whether the preacher is any good?
P.R.
Dear P.R., For my next career (i.e., after I get fired from my current job) I’m considering going into the ministry. Not only do I think it is my calling in life (well, maybe) but it appears to be the perfect job. Being a pastor would allow me to combine my three biggest passions: telling people how they should live, avoiding manual labor, and eating.
Preachers lead a cushy, well-fed existence. Basically all they do is talk, then eat. That seems to be the standard format for a life as a minister. Put in an hour of work on Sunday…then get invited to lunch. Visit with the sick people in the hospital…then eat their Jello when they nod off. Grab a deacon and drop by some unsuspecting parishioners house during dinnertime…and then, well, you get the idea. Then, after a long day of talking and gorging, you can go soak your feet in the baptistery. What more could you ask for in a career?"
Read the whole thing here.
How to Pick a Preacher
"Dear Joe, Lately I’ve wanted to become a better Christian (like you) and decided that I needed to go back to church. Shopping around for a church isn’t exactly easy, though. I know I shouldn’t choose a church based solely on the preacher but if the preacher isn’t good then I find it difficult to stay interested. How do you judge whether the preacher is any good?
P.R.
Dear P.R., For my next career (i.e., after I get fired from my current job) I’m considering going into the ministry. Not only do I think it is my calling in life (well, maybe) but it appears to be the perfect job. Being a pastor would allow me to combine my three biggest passions: telling people how they should live, avoiding manual labor, and eating.
Preachers lead a cushy, well-fed existence. Basically all they do is talk, then eat. That seems to be the standard format for a life as a minister. Put in an hour of work on Sunday…then get invited to lunch. Visit with the sick people in the hospital…then eat their Jello when they nod off. Grab a deacon and drop by some unsuspecting parishioners house during dinnertime…and then, well, you get the idea. Then, after a long day of talking and gorging, you can go soak your feet in the baptistery. What more could you ask for in a career?"
Read the whole thing here.
posted by David Browder at 1/21/2006 04:20:00 PM
4 Comments:
I loved it! I think it's so funny cause it actually hits close to home...*ouch!*
Ohhh Browder...you gadfly! Why can't you just let sleeping pastors, I mean dogs, lie?
I'm laughing so hard -- why didn't you warn your readers to swallow their coffee before reading?
I'll try to do that next time :-)
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